Friday, October 27, 2006

The Batslap: Then & Now

The Batman has a long, storied history over the nearly seven decades since he was first created. The Dark Knight is both protector of the innocent and bane of those who would do evil. Unfortunately, his behavior towards women hasn't always been, errr, enlightened:
(From Batman #1)

Never mind Bruce Wayne's playboy persona who goes through a never-ending stream of beautiful baubles dangling off his arms to distract people from his closeted secret - that's just rude.

But to be fair, that was nearly 70 years ago: a less enlightened time for the four-color page. These days, Batman is far more -

HOLY SHIT, DID BATMAN JUST BACK-HAND THAT WOMAN WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING?!
(From Detective Comics #824)

Why yes. Yes he did.

Daaamn.

To be fair, she was trying to stab him in the back. You would think the criminal element of Gotham City would realize by now that this is Not a Wise Move. But perhaps the basic precondition of being a Gotham henchman - sorry, henchperson - is a pronounced inability to recognize that Batman can wreck your shit. That or a desperate need for employment in a tight economy.

Because honestly? If you're stuck working for a short, fat, ugly, beak-nosed, self-proclaimed "criminal mastermind" who takes his nom de crime from cute flightless birds from Antarctica and has a thing for trick umbrellas, odds are you're not Fortune 500 CEO material.

Still, an open-handed backslap without even deigning to glance at her? That shit is cold.

This is Batman, after all. He could've disarmed and incapacitated his female assailant any number of ways which would've been a lot less insulting than the Batslap. A solid right cross is, in its own way, a show of respect for one's foes: proof that you'll confront them face-to-face on equal footing, even if you know you can take them down inside of five seconds - because you're Batman. A good judo throw is a way of taking someone down when you don't really want to hurt them. A swat like that means someone's not even worth acknowledging as a foe.

So let this be a lesson to you, ladies: Batman would never leave a damsel in distress; he would willingly sacrifice his life to save yours; but come at him with hostile intent and he will pwn you like a bitch (pardon my French).

3 Comments:

At 11/01/2006 2:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know I should feel somehow insulted - and yet I laugh and laugh! And you're right. I've seen him strike backwards at guys, but it's always with the closed-fist-held-at-shoulder-level-while standing-braced-and-powerful-like.
Well spotted.

 
At 11/02/2006 8:26 PM, Anonymous cold_queen_5 said...

That whole back-hand without looking isn't a Batslap.

That, my dear, is a PIMP smack. Bats? Total pimp hittin'.

 
At 11/03/2006 11:32 AM, Blogger Ferrous Buller said...

Woo! I've got comments!

It's Batman, he's slapping someone - ergo, it's the Batslap. Pretty obvious, I should think. :-)

 

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